Uber’s new “All or Nothing” policy set to cut awkward small talk by 70% (The Pumpkin Post)

Global taxi titan, Uber, has introduced a rule confronting its driver-rider interactions.

The policy, which will roll out in late July, is called the “All or Nothing” rule, and will teach drivers the extent to which they should speak to clientele, if at all.

Its main focus will be to instill a mantra into its self-employed employees: ‘If you’re going to talk to them, do it properly.’

Uber drivers will have video classes made available to them by next week about the dangers of awkward, forced or brief chat, which the company says should decrease occurrences by up to 70%.

Seminars will be held nation-wide in the USA and UK about ‘rear-view mirror glancing’, ‘offering sweets’, and ‘how to earn your 5 stars’, but many of these are said to charge the driver on the time spent attending.

Former CEO of the $70 billion taxi company, Travis Kalanick, spoke briefly about the new feature coming to Uber during a convention in San Francisco at the beginning of June, but these remarks were quickly shrugged off as another 5-Star flop by many of the attendees.

Long-time Uber driver, Erik Kahne, said: “It’s about time I learn how to interact in a social environment such as one that plays out in a taxi cab.

People forget that taking a car trip with strangers is an entirely new social situation in itself, and one that has increased pressure of going well if you want to capitalise off of it.”

One regular Uber customer, who asked not to be named for personal reasons, said that he is thrilled by the news after admitting to purposefully giving talkative taxi drivers low star ratings.

Uber announced the policy alongside their new tantalisingly catchy advert called “The Effortless Night” which a recent poll revealed got a staggering 84% of its audience ‘doing a slight tap of the foot.’

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One thought on “Uber’s new “All or Nothing” policy set to cut awkward small talk by 70% (The Pumpkin Post)

  1. I get it but uber is not a cab…I’m like stepping into someone’s car. Not sure why. Never talk to cabbi other than the 5 inches of bullet proof glass…hmm maybe they should put that into uber cars…

    Liked by 1 person

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