Over eight months ago I posted this. It wasn’t the first thing that I posted when I got to uni, there was a few chapters of a story that needed finishing, as well as a stupid thank you letter to my PlayStation, but after the dust of moving out had settled, it was eventually written.
I remember it quite well, actually. I was sat in the exact same place that I’m sat now, at my little desk with my spinny-chair, my overhead light, and the lamp that I never used because of my overhead light (sorry lamp).
I also had a sense of certainty. I knew what I wanted to do with myself, how I would overcome obstacles, and handle situations. Matthew had it all planned out.
That was eight months ago, and as I sit where past Matthew sat, I can, with certainty, admit how naive he was.
I’m a different person now, to begin with. Time does that to you. For a start, I’m writing in weird, short paragraphs for some reason. Maybe it’s for effect, but it’s probably because that’s how journalists write. I’VE LEARNED THINGS.
That’s the basis of this post, actually. The lack of planning, the messiness and untidiness of this blog post is an apt symbol of what present Matthew is now aware of.
Don’t pretend to know how life will be handed to you.
Plan ahead, of course. Live in a way that benefits your future self and learn something at every corner, but please don’t think too much into it. You’ll learn that the world has something else to say.
Friends may not stick around for as long as you hoped.
Friends may stick around for longer than you could ever have imagined.
People are weird, and change in the most brilliant, hilarious, disgusting ways.
Your job, course, or hobby may not always be the walk in the proverbial park that you thought, that’s alright.
Plans may present themselves at the last minute that change your future for the better.
You may get hungry at 3 in the morning and make a disappointing meal for yourself.
You may live with people that you don’t talk to for weeks, that’s cool. They probably have nothing to contribute anyway.
You might buy a game from the PlayStation store for 25% of its original price because SONY LOVES YOU, but your bank account now hates you.
Some people may leave you on purpose, some may leave this world all together.
Some things may go exactly as you predicted. For better or for worse.
Music follows me wherever I go, and maybe that’s why I started my music series. A monthly look back on my *yawn* journey, the songs that got me through each day.
Present Matthew, the one sitting here at 16:09 on 19 May 2017, has learned two main things:
- You are the center of your own universe, not everyone else’s. You don’t need the validation of everyone surrounding you. Earn your respect and take time doing so – or don’t, it’s not going to matter with 95% of the people you meet.
- Embrace the chaos of life, go with the wind, shift with the tides. Accept that shit happens, from the menial to the existential, and move on from there. Once you see this for yourself, you can actually appreciate the weirdness of this world we call home.
Oh, and remember to defrost that chicken or else you’re going to be eating fish finger sandwiches for the third time this week.
I’m looking forward to future Matthew reading this, I bet he thinks I sound so stupid.
Images (inc. featured): My own fair hand.