‘Who Gives a F*ck About an Oxford Comma?’: A Rant on Irrelevance.

It’s the source of fierce debate. It’s got its own name. It’s even got an entire song named after it. So what the hell is an Oxford Comma, and why the hell are we arguing over it?
To answer the first question, an Oxford Comma is similar to any other comma in the fact that it appears in lists of words like objects or names, etc. 

For Example:*

  • Standard Comma’d sentence – ‘She was tall, blonde and beautiful.’
  • Here’s the same sentence with an Oxford Comma – ‘She was tall, blonde, and beautiful.

Recognise the difference? No, not many people do at first. To spoil the fun, there’s a comma in between ‘and’ & the last adjective on the second sentence. That comma is your Oxford one. It divides each object, including the ‘and’ to make it sound more listy.
The other sentence obviously just went to state school…

I’m neither here on this quiet Wednesday night to educate about the English language, nor to advertise the genius that is Vampire Weekend, but to point out that people nowadays care about the most pointless, stupid, and downright boring aspects of life sometimes…

…Now, if you didn’t notice the way in which the end of the sentence was structured (*see above for help), you’re probably a healthy, functioning person whose brain takes concern to issues that may have a negative impact on your life – WMD’s, wages, war. Corruption, cruelty, censorship; I’ll go through each letter of the friggin’ alphabet to show that there are far more pressing things to have actual debates on and spend actual time on than how over-excited with your commas one can get.

As it goes, I’ve always made lists with that dastardly Oxford comma plonked on the end of them, just because that’s how I think it looks best. Without that extra comma, I could read funny-protesta sentence in a completely different way, but that’s just how my brain works.
But Lord, I didn’t think people would be actually wasting their time finnicking over whether that extra little squiggle on the page is necessary or needed. If it looks good to some, and is appropriate to the sentence, leave it alone. Move on with your life. If you’re really interested in fighting a dead cause, go demonstrate against Capitalism or the Monarchy   or something, at least you’ll be on the streets away my computer screen.

I don’t mean to sound hostile, but it just baffles me that, in such uncertain, terrifying times, there are groups out there devoted to exterminating pieces of well-established punctuation. Th-THERE’S NOTHING TO EXTERMINATE, IT’S – *ahem* – It’s just a comma.


Other topics of irrelevant debate include:

  • The Console/PC ‘Master Race Debate – In its briefest form, video games have always been more prevalent on games consoles like the Xbox or Playstation since their release in the early 2000’s, but technology in PC gaming has taken a massive step forward recently, and so the graphics and processing of video games have exceeded that of the measly Xbox One/PS4. Because of this, gamers who choose PC as their preferred platform have taken it upon themselves to call themselves the gaming ‘master race’. Now, without even stepping foot in the negative history of declaring a race as superior in the past, why should any console gamer care about the experience of a PC gamer (and vice versa), when the two are completely separate devices, with entirely different ways of controlling the game?master race
    Console gamers like myself use the trusted handheld controller, whereas PC’s use the standard A,S,D,W, Up, Down, Left, Right keys on their keyboard. As well as this, there are often different FOV’s (Fields of View) on each platform, especially for first-person games.I’m instantly biased in my choice of platform as I’ve been a console gamer my whole life, but I’ll never denounce one way of playing the same game I play just because it’s different to how I do it – in fact, good on them, I doubt my hands would even fit on the keyboard properly to use them. Modern video games have collated massive communities amongst themselves, but as us humans do naturally, enemies and rivalries have already been made within them, and not only is it unpleasant to see hoards of people verbally ravaging each other over this, it’s just plain stupid.


  • Another example is the sub-rivalry of the two consoles – XBoner’s Vs Pony’s.
    This rivalry is mainly prevalent for one or two reasons. The first being that there are only the two companies that sell the mainstream games; Microsoft (who own the Xbox) and Sony (who own the PlayStation), and so each of these corporate giants only have each other’s throat to go for. Of course, you can’t ignore Nintendo’s Wii and DS, but their audience is entirely different, and so won’t be counted.
    Secondly, though both consoles are extremely similar graphic-wise (though Sony always have a slight edge somehow), there are always polar differences between each of them that bring their own niche to the console game. I won’t got through each and every one, so instead I’ll give my own personal (yet objective) opinions on each, as I’ve experienced both Sony and Microsoft’s products:
  • The Xbox 360, to me, was much more sociable than its counterpart, the PS3; with easy to use menus that help access friends and messages, and so has always been the console I used with pals. The X1 is even easier, with their favourite tiled design which just makes everything so slick and swift. This quick transition between menus also makes it a good media player. However, the Xbox has always lost to the PlayStation in the graphics department; even more prevalently so in this generation. It’s also much buggier, slower, and honestly – less sexy than the PlayStation’s, which boast clean menus, delightful colours, particles, and it’s just mmmmmm. 
    But that’s  just my opinion.
  • The last thing that creates even more friction between the consumers of each company is that, nowadays, a good marketing tool for both game and console is to have exclusivity – whether it be early DLC content or entire games available only on one console, this heightens the competition between each console and thus, to the fans. But hey, whatever rakes in the cash.

    console-wars
    An accurate representation of the Console War.

I guess it could be seen that many of us focus on these banal bothers that ultimately meaning nothing to us as a way of subconsciously distracting ourselves from the bigger issues that are infinitely more important to society and progress. As if these issues are being diluted and numbed by those who don’t want to deal with them. I better take my foil hat off before I start thinking that the government is somehow involved…

foil hat

 

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11 thoughts on “‘Who Gives a F*ck About an Oxford Comma?’: A Rant on Irrelevance.

  1. As long as there are people, we will argue about assorted silly things — it’s just how humans work, it seems. But, while we’re weighing in on commas, I’ve always been a fan of the Oxford comma… for what it’s worth 😉

    Thanks for sharing — I love your sense of humor!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I noticed the difference but for some reason, I remember being taught that a comma before an ‘and’ is always wrong! As in you’re not supposed to have a comma before a conjunction?? Also I thought this was going to be a post all about Vampire weekend when I saw the title haha

    Liked by 1 person

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