SleepTalk #1 (Part1) – Late Arrivals, Thorn Tunics and Alligator’s Sword.

It’s been said that everyone has about 7 dreams per night that only last about 5 seconds. For the most part I can agree with this, I’ll remember bits and pieces of a few unrelated dreams for the first hour or so of the morning then they’ll be forgotten – lost in the deleted scenes of my unconsciousness. But every now and then, your mind treats you to a feature-length, cinematic experience that you’d only otherwise obtain by paying thousands of pounds for popcorn and cinema tickets.

The beginning of the dream is escaping me already but I’m on a bus somewhere and I’m on my way to meet my friend, Fran. I get off the bus to see my old school friends Georgia and Lily outside a local school, Canon Slade. We talk for a while and they walk off and I head towards my friend, Beth.

We carry on walking (supposedly towards where I was meant to be meeting Fran) and she keeps seeing her friend and they eventually fall out and she leaves us. Beth begins bitching about her and loads of people until we walk past a bar. We enter the bar as I need to use the bathroom and as I’m walking past, I see several people with whom Beth had made enemies. I carry on walking past, feeling their eyes burning into the back of my neck.  This dream is so vivid that I remember what I did in the bathroom but I those sort of details are irrelevant – they mainly involve my vigorous hand washing. After washing my hands, Beth walks in and drags me out of the bathroom as she was feeling incredibly uncomfortable.

So we’re walking through the bar again and at the end of the room is a group of boys about my age and one of them tries intimidating and threatening me as I wrote an article for the bar that was better than his (my only threat to this punishing world). If you were getting bored by the sheer mundaneness of what has previously occurred, then prepare yourself.

So this guy is all up in my business and then out of nowhere a man appears. This man is on a horse and is dressed as a Yu-Gi-Oh card called Alligator’s Sword and he tries to defend me.  So now I have a sword-wielding, horse-riding humanoid alligator on my side which is comforting, but suddenly the bar setting disappears along with my reptilian ally and now in my local park, the Rec, and the lads who were threatening me are now Viking soldiers – axes and all. Suddenly, one of the soldiers begins to wrap me up in a leather tunic, claiming that it’s a sort of armour. I look down and see that the tunic is intertwined with thorns. Now I’m not trying to compare myself to Jesus Christ or anything here but I’m definitely seeing some resemblance. I’m then barraged by arrows from the other soldiers but thanks to the tunic, they only leave bruises and cuts. I’m then told that they are going to carry on but this time with knives – so I just run.

Part 2 coming up.

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